Self-care

Hello Reader,

It’s a beautiful Saturday and I am going to do some self-care before the week starts up again. To be honest, I’m not a big fan of that term, self-care. “Why is that, Jon?!”. Welp, because too many people are using the word wrong!!! Stop using it wrong!!!

“Okay, you didn't have to yell." Sorry reader, I guess I get very passionate about mental health. "So, there is a right and a wrong way to do self-care? Tell me more!” Since you asked, let’s dive into it!

When you think about self-care, what comes to mind? A bubble bath, maybe? Having a large coffee or a beer? Possibly just staying in and watching some tv? Yes, all of those could mean self-care but there is a right and a wrong way to do it.

“Wait, watching tv can be both self-care and not?? Now that is just confusing! Jon, how do I know if I am doing self-care the right way or the wrong way?!”. Another great question, Reader! Self-care involves two different components, having a healthy intention and a balance in the duration of the action.

Component 1) Healthy Intentions:

We explored intentions in a previous blog, and we will continue to address the importance of it with almost every mental health skill. If you get anything from these blogs, remember that your intention is very important when it comes to your mental health. The key is in the intention. Ask yourself frequently, what is my intention in doing these actions? As you answer, remember to be honest with yourself too. When it comes to self-care, sure, you can watch tv after work, but what is your honest intention with this behavior? Are you watching tv to avoid responsibilities or have you been working hard all day and need to relax? It is the same action but with two different intentions.

Even the things that are perceived as healthy can be turned into something unhealthy and justified as self-care. Let’s take spending time with friends. From the outside, spending time with friends might look healthy but what is our honest intention? If I'm honest with myself, I might find out that I am doing these actions to avoidant something in my life. Be honest with yourself.

The first component of self-care is a healthy intention, participating in an action that will preserve or improve one’s health. This means thinking about your tomorrow's self and making sure what you do today is going to benefit you in the future. Sure, this could be watching tv, but this also could mean going on a run. Only you know, so be honest with yourself.

Component 2) Duration:

Being mindful and aware of the duration of the action is as important as the intention. “Why is the duration so important for self-care?” Well, there is a certain point where the healthy action starts to become unhealthy, and that shift is within the duration. Only you know when that action becomes unhealthy so again, be honest with yourself. If I spend too much time exercising, I might be starting to avoid my other responsibilities and trick myself to thinking that exercising is still healthy. This is why the duration is so important. If gone unchecked, what was once healthy for us turns into something that is unhealthy in our life.

Let’s sum this up with some key takeaways.

1)      The key to self-care is having healthy intentions.

2)      This intention must have the goal to preserve or improve one’s health as well as being aware of the duration of the action.

3)      Be honest as you check in with yourself and plan out your self-care.

4)      Think about your future-self today and provide yourself with some self-care!!! You deserve it!!!