Levels of Perception

“Hello, Jon! I’m glad you are writing but I could never do what you are doing.” – Reader

Ahh, Reader, don’t be so hard on yourself. You just experienced a cognitive distortion.

“Dam! Again?! Help, Jon! Where is this coming from?!” – Reader

Let’s explore this together!

Last blog, we talked about, in general, cognitive distortions. Let’s get a better understanding of how they are formed because I want to drill in the idea that, YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS.

If we look at past influences on cognitive distortion, parents or authority figures in one’s life emphasize, what I call, First Level Perceptions. These are just basic ways of perceiving the world. We are taught by authority figures how to perceive the world early on in our life. Some of these first level perceptions we outgrow. Others, we tend to hold onto (for multiple reasons). Examples of first level perceptions are, you either win or lose, you either succeed or you fail. If reinforced and internalized, you start to believe that you are either smart, or you are dumb (Labeling, cognitive distortion). Our brain takes this first level perception and if it is repeated and/or reinforced, we start to perceive this as truth (a belief). We start to see the world through this lens and think that the world is just a blurred place. When reinforced and not challenged, first level perceptions grow into limiting beliefs.

These first levels of perceptions can be seen as a hand-me-down set of glasses our parents gave to us. They may have been very helpful to our parents, but they are not personalized to us. There is a time and place for those glasses. At first, they may help, but they are far from accurate. They may have helped us navigate the world when we were younger. They may have even helped keep us safe at times. Some first levels of perception, such as how to stay safe are important, but others may not do us well and actually be harmful and repressive.

The intention of the parent might be full of care and love and yet still be damaging.

An example of a healthy intention leading to unhealthy outcomes can be perceived when, a parent continually tells their child, “You’re so smart!” with the intention of encouragement and yet all or nothing thoughts can still emerge. If the brain would speak in this situation, it would say something such as, “Getting an A+ got me praise and connection from my parents. They provide my basic needs there for I must get the same exact result next time or else I might not get my basic needs met! I am going to do everything I can to avoid that possibility of abandonment”. A belief is created if I do not take those hand-me-down glasses off. This belief then starts to influence feelings, emotions, behaviors, actions and future beliefs. If we do not build up the skill of curiosity, our brain will continue to tell us partial truths. Yes, these hand-me-down glasses help...a bit. In this example, it helped me get an A+. The perception on the other, is only partially true! But, if I choose to not question my thoughts and beliefs, I will be more prone to living a limiting life full of struggles, pain, resentment, guilt, anxiety and shame and not be satisfied with anything other than an A+. If this person does not take off those hand-me-down glasses, they are going to feel worthless when they mess up. They are going to turn into a perfectionist or even a people pleasure.

“Ouch, calling me out. Not cool, dude.” - Reader

Welp, if the shoe fits. Or in this case, if you choose to force the hand-me-down glasses to fit.

What this first level of perception is not telling us is the nuances of life. In reality, there are multiple ways of seeing a situation. There are different glasses you can try on!!! The perception and the belief that, “I am smart, or I am a failure” is an inaccurate way of thinking because I can get an A, B+, C, even an F can mean more than the first level of perception of failure. Sure, my parents might not be satisfied with a C or an F but that is from their lens not mine. Success has different meanings and yet we often get stuck in that first level of perception. We are taught to keep these hand-me-down glasses on even when they do not fit our life anymore. It might have done me well in school but not in my relationships. Try to practice taking those hand-me-down glasses off and start to find some glasses that fit you!

Moving past this first level takes time and effort. It takes practicing curiosity and the action of responding to life. The term fail, in general, has many judgmental connotations to it. The term, Fail, is a harsh and judgmental, first level perception, that can ruin lives. This first level perception of failure is also saying, you are not good enough, you are worthless, stop trying. If we practice curiosity, and go beyond this first level perception, we can reach the second and third levels of perception in which healing from your past begins.

In order to reach these other levels of perception, we simply just need to be curious in a strategic way. Not ask why, but what and how questions. “What contributed to this? How did this emerge? What can I control and what can I not control? What do I need to do to better my situation?” After being curious about the situation, we see that it is not that you are a failure, it is that you might not have the resources to reach your goal, your goal is too high, something out of your control impacted the situation, you prioritized something else, you were not taught how to handle the situation. All of which you can do something about! There are many other reasons than just you “being a failure” and yet by holding onto this first level of perception, we are more prone to internalize the idea of failure and create limiting beliefs and more cognitive distortions. We are more prone to keeping those hand-me-down glasses. All this often happens without us even knowing it and it is highly influenced by our past and traumatic events. We just react and forget to respond.

Curiosity is the key to moving past first level perceptions and understanding the situation for what it actually is. Curiosity is one of the tools to bettering your mental health because again, YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS. Take those hand-me-down glasses off and be curious about your life and act in a healthy way. A way that works for you. Start personalizing your own glasses.

“Wow, maybe I am more than just my thoughts. Maybe I can be curious when I am experiencing cognitive distortions. Maybe there are healthier ways of perceiving a situation. Maybe there are healthier ways of perceiving myself.” - Reader

It is not your fault that cognitive distortions exist. There is an evolutionary reason for why they exist. It is not your fault that you are given hand-me-down glasses that do not fit you anymore. It does become your responsibility to challenge and correct them if and only if you want to be in a better spot mentally. If you don’t want to change, your thoughts won’t change, and you’ll continue to experience the hardships of life with those hand-me-down glasses. Remember, putting in the work is one of the four aspects of life that we must learn to accept when taking care of our mental health. It is not what happened to you but how are you going to respond and grow from what happened to you that is important.

Key takeaways:

1)      First Level Perceptions are basic ways of perceiving the world that have been passed down from authority figures in your life.

2) When reinforced and not challenged, first level perceptions emerge as beliefs.

3)      Our upbringing, our environment and traumatic events increase the likelihood of experiencing cognitive distortions and limiting beliefs.

4)      To challenge cognitive distortions, practice by first noticing those unhelpful thoughts (first level of perceptions or limiting beliefs), be strategically curious about the thought by using what and how questions. Then act on it by expand the possibilities beyond just that first level perception.

5)      Take those hand-me-down glasses off!

Your turn: What are your hand-me-down glasses telling you? Who or what from your past has emphasized first level perceptions? Are these just thoughts or are they beliefs? What do you notice when you experience cognitive distortions? How does it feel when challenging your thoughts and put on new, personal glasses?